Dear God,

I look at this and feel nothing.

8am

I'm awake, alive and very happy. I only have positive thoughts in my mind and I always get what I want. :)

Today is a new day so bring it on!

FUCK

seriously how may time to I ask for one this and get another!

the count down

begins!

I'm moving to Arizona in 11 days!
I'm very very excited.
I have to get a job.
Zack in coming on the 25?!
Were going to the Grand Canyon! (check of the list)
Maybe even California (if so also check of the list)

I made a list for the new year and I only have a few things left to fulfill!

April

Well on the 10th I experienced for the first time a new life come into this world.

Lilly came, Lilly is Kalanis new baby sister and that makes her mine also just by association. I got to hold her just two days after she was born. It was a feeling I cannot describe. She is a new life and I'll get to see her grow up from that one special day that I got to hold her at a precious ...two days old.

p.s
Dear, Lily
Kalani and I have talked it over and well your name is pretty and all but were going to call you Kainoa when you get older you will understand.

So Kainoa I love you and can't wait to see you again!

So with this wonderful life that just came into this world, not to bring it down because I could not be more filled with joy over her

I could not help this new life making me think of death and how when you get one you loose one...

I just prepare thats all.

you confuse me

and it makes me feel angry, and I think horrible thoughts.

Your not horrible, but annoying.

Beautiful, yet stupid.

I love you and I hate you.

You seem to have no reality and that makes me jealous because I was brought up with "reality" shoved deep down in me... so deep I don't think I can ever get it all out.

day in and out ..and to this day. Reality in my face!

You play and play and play.

A part of me wishes it will hit you really hard in the face and even maybe scar you one day and you will see and feel this reality I live with.

You and your playing annoys me to my bones

Your beauty has my love

and right now I wanna smack you in the face.

change

..is always a friend of mine

and a big change is going to happen very very very very soon. I'm excited!

I ask for change, I asked for this.

I prep myself for the day when change is not a choice.

I welcome change.

wtf

I seriously think my hairs not growing!

Today

Well I was up at 7am left for school around 725am and got to school right on time. Studied in the library then did more studying with my partner for my oral presentation in spanish on the 17th.

I turned in my application for the coffee bean (hopefully I'll get the job so I can go to AZ in the summer) ...came home did PSY homework and my quiz and got a 10/10 :) then did MORE homework but for spanish. I got a baby sitting job for next week meaning I get spending money!!

Now the fun part of my day was getting to play with my new sewing machine and I'm almost done with my first purse!! I just have to do the strap. I can't wait for some free time so I can play with it more.

Zack came over and we went and got Thai food, I ordered summer rolls. Yum! Zack got yucky yellow curry.

I'm trying to start to write more I believe it's good for the soul, but sorry my day was not very interesting. It was a really good day though.

My days are really feeling like they are going by so fast! I was up at seven and next thing I know after my spanish class and a little study time, it was 11:30!! And by the time I got home after turning in my application it was past noon! Time is fleeting me :( So I'm really trying to pack as much into my day as I can!

adios!

punkin

I have no backbone and I never mean what I say.

I'm glad.

te amo.

good choice?

It was a good choice for right now and with something like this there is no such thing as a clean cut, my cut is jagged, very jagged and it will take some time to clean it up.

But now I'm "free". Free to make my own decisions, string free.

I will miss a lot and it will hurt a lot at times but I really believe I made the right choice for right now.

Today

Today is the first day of March 2010.

I was half awake and dreading getting out of bed at 630 this morning and really woke up but 715.

I went to my spanish class and I believe I was just a minute late, maybe not even that.

I got home around 915am and did some of my online spanish HW, and when my mom came home she came baring a gift for me. But not from her, a gift that came in the mail.

Kaitlynn send me a wonderful package full of jewlery and a mix CD and loads of her love, it was the best best best way to start this new month off. :)

I'll be 20 this year..

so it's time to grow up and start living!

So I have a million things I want to do and I'm ever so excited about this one project kaitlynn and I are taking on.
I can't think of the last thing that ever made me this excited.

I want my good grades and I want to travel. I want good heath and happy times.

So one step at a time.

oh me

I have too many thoughts in my head right now to even sit here and try to write them out. So I;ll just put my to-do list

To Do

• wash clothes
• make a clothes line
• do last psy quiz

i cant think of any more

love and hate

I heard love and hate are pretty much the same thing, and right now I get it.

I hate this person right now, this person knows how to make every bone in my body angry, yet I will never stop loving this person.

Busy Busy Busy

When your busy, time flies!

Because of school, every day I'm up at the latest ..7am and I'm going going going tell around midnight. I think this is the first time in my life I have ever been this busy and I don't even have a job!! I have no idea how people go to school full time and hold a part time job, while still keeping their grades up. Not to mention having a social life!

I really only now understand why people say that there is not enough time in a day.

My grades are pretty good but there is room from improvement. Today I got my first espanol exam back and I got 80%! Now compared to how horrible I was doing on some of my quizzes before the exam (sadly one quiz I believe I got a 35%) I was very very pleased with my B. So next exam I'm shooting for an A.

In my history of schooling English has always been my worst subject, I cant spell to save my life and all the rules of writing flew right over my head and I still I'm not sure when a comma should or should not be used. So this semester I'm really surprising myself in my English class, I had to write a fairy tale and it was worth 50 points, and I just got it back yesterday and it read

"49/50 good job Michelle , M."

The only reason it was not the full 50 points was because I didn't give it a creative title, I labeled it "Fairy Tale.". So note to self, don't make that mistake again.

get over yourself

Your soul is no better then any other soul on this earth, no matter what your mind tells you.

No matter what you know or where you have been, YOU ARE NO BETTER.

So get your head out of the clouds and come back down to earth.

Your judgment gets you nowhere!

time

is fleeting me.

I'll be old before I know it.

Bucket list needs to get done.

A's need to be made

Fun needs to be had.

Places need to be seen.

Saturday

Its a nice day, I got to sleep in tell 10 them mozzy around my house.

Soon I will be off to the library for some study fun.. It gives me a chance to get out of the house.

pretty pretty

fresh flowers.

I want fresh flowers. Put them in a vase and enjoy them before the die.

Colorful flowers, yes I want pretty pretty flowers.

fun is over

My other crazy half left back to her life on the east coast today..

To make it a bit more easy for me, she left me most of her cute clothes.

Time for school and not much fun.

Cancelled

Well my first class of the semester got cancelled, my professor was sick.

I got up at 6am and there at 7:30 got some food to just find out I didnt need to be there! Got home checked my school email and oh and behold I had a email from the professor from the day before that he was sick and not to come. So he will be there tomorrow morning.

I'm eating a yummy drumstick :0

I had my... I guess real first day of school today it was fun, I have some crazy professors and I have a class with online, on your own time exams that are worth 75% of my grade! Can you say A? I think its a little to good to be true but we will see.

Zack is annoying me. In the funny way.

Back to school.

My second post today... I start back school tomorrow morning quite early, 8am class but that's it. Only one class three days a week and three classes two days a week.

Tomorrow is Spanish 101.

I was thinking about bringing my professor an apple.. but I don't think I can be that bold.
what a fun gesture though..

Well it's late and my day starts early tomorrow plus Zack will be here soon.

Beautiful people.

People tend to cross my path and just amaze me. Most every one I meet has something about them that just is full of wonder and talent and beauty. These people do amazing things and I look up to you.

There is a saying I believe in and it goes a little something like this.. "You are not original but a combination of everyone you have ever met and known."

So to all you nameless amazing people , here is to you.

I hope you you know how inspiring you are and I hope you continue to walk this earth and amaze, inspire and show your beauty to all you come across.

pain

most of my body parts hurt today but tonight I will dance it all away!

picture this.

Today Kaitlynn and I went to develop film and this is a photo from it and I just want to say I kinda love it!

:)

There are so many ways to connect with people these days... I started off with a Myspace, seriously thinking it was the stupidest thing EVER! I remember thinking "Who the hell is Tom and why the hell is he my friend??" Then the next few years of my life I was hooked... Myspace ruled my world, but now the cool new thing is Facebook, which in the beginning I also was stand offish about, thinking it was weird and not my beloved Myspace.

So it really goes to show that history repeats its self because Facebook is now my beloved one. So I made a blogger page because I'm not over exposed enough ...yet.